PACCKA3bI Y KAMUHA

Условие конкурса:
Вы должны написать рассказ на Русском языке (допускаются отдельные басурманизмы), используя только те буквы латинского алфавита, которые похожи на буквы кириллицы. Предлагаются на выбор два набора допустимых букв:
  1. ЗАГЛАВНЫЕ:
    A B E 3 U K (/\) M H O P C T Y X b bI
    Пример: OCTAHOBKA METPO
    Дополнительное условие: разрешается использовать не более 5-ти букв "/\", независимо от размеров рассказа

  2. Заглавные+строчные по правилам русской орфографии:
    A B E 3 U K (/\) M H O P C T Y X
    a b r g e u k o n p c m y x
    Пример: B Pocmobe nycmo
    Дополнительное условие насчет "/\" сохраняется

    BHUMAHUE! Не разрешается смешивать в одном рассказе два
    стиля. Смешанные работы, а также работы, содержащие
    "неразрешенные" буквы, будут выставлены вне конкурса.

ТУР 1 - PACCKA3 BETEPAHA

Некий ветеран хвастается своими былыми подвигами (военными, морскими, любовными и т.д.).

I (BOEHKOM)

BETEPAH KOPOCTY C PAH,
OTMbIBAET PE3BO:
PA3 CTAKAH, BTOPOU CTAKAH!
3ABTPA CHOBA TPE3BbIU!

"BOEBATb HUKAK, CbIHOK,
HACYXO HE CTOUT!
ECTb BUHTOBKA, ECTb KYPOK,
A BHYTPU BCE CTOHET!

PAHA HOET, 3HOU TOMUT,
MbIC/\U HEKA3UCTbI,
TATb B ATAKY HOPOBUT,
HETY "COTKU" -- CKUC TbI!

A C BUHOM -- OP/\OB TAKUX
C/\OBHO BETEP HOCUT:
PA3 MAXHET -- U BOCbMEPbIX
CAMYPAEB CKOCUT!"

TAK U3PEK, U BHOBb CTAKAH
C BEPXOM HA/\UBAET,
YC CBOU KPYTUT BETEPAH,
OCTPbIU B3OP CBEPKAET!

HAC 3OBET OH HA TPOUX,
HA CTO/\E -- 3AKYCKA...
3A TAKUX MOU TOCT U CTUX --
3A XAPAKTEP PYCCKUU!!


II (PARADOX)

"BAXTY HECYT BETEPAHbI" (BETPO-MOPCKUE CTUXU)

CKBO3b OCTPOBA U TYMAHbI
BCEM ATTECTOBAHA BECTb:
ECTb BETEPAHbI, ECTb BETEPAHbI,
ECTb BETEPAHbI, ECTb !

C/\ABbI Y HAC HE OTHUMYT
HU OKEAH, HU BETPA,
MEPTBbIE CPAMY HE UMYT,
BCTAHEM HA BAXTY C YTPA !

KAHYT TOPOCbI, TAPAHbI,
POTHbIX 3ABUCTHUKOB MECTb ...
ECTb BETEPAHbI, ECTb BETEPAHbI,
ECTb BETEPAHbI, ECTb !

KAPKAET BOPOH K 3AKATY, -
HAM HE PE3OH YMUPATb,
MOPE U TPOH, U YTPATY
CTAHET OT KPOBU CMbIBATb ...

POMY OTKPOEM CTAKAHbI,
3BOH UX - /\UTABPbI OKPECT.
ECTb BETEPAHbI, ECTb BETEPAHbI,
ECTb BETEPAHbI, ECTb !

PATHbIX 3HAMEH HA KOPBETAX
BETPY BOBEK HE COPBATb.
OTCBET 3APU HA PACCBETAX
3APEBOM CBETUT HA PATb.

BOPOH, TbI HAMU OTPUHYT,
COKO/\ HAM KPUKHET "YPA".
MEPTBbIE CPAMY HE UMYT,
CTAHEM HA BAXTY C YTPA !


III (Невструев)

OCTPOB KOPCAPOB

KAK-TO PA3 HA 3AKATE Y KOCTPA PACCKA3bIBAET CTAPUK-MATPOC:

"CEPOE U XMYPOE YTPO. OCTPOB OKYTAH TYMAHOM. MOKPO, CbIPO,
MEP3KO, OTBPATHO. U3-3A MbICA BbICKAKUBAET KOPBET BMC
AMEPUKU, HACTABUB PAKETbI B CTOPOHY OCTPOBA. HOC PACCEKAET
MYTHOE MOPE.

HA HOCY KOPBETA CTOUT KYPCAHT, CTUB PE3HUK. OH
O3UPAET OKPECTHOCTU, EMY BCE B HOBUHKY, BCE UHTEPECHO.
HET, TYT BAM HE TAUTU...

KTO-TO U3 KOMCOCTABA CMOTPUT C MOCTUKA. 3AMETUB CTUBA,
BbI3bIBAET HABEPX:
- KTO HA BAXTE?
- KYPCAHT PE3HUK!
- KAK CTOUTE, KYPCAHT? CMUPHO!

U TYT - B3PbIB! MUHA B TYMAHE! HOC OTOPBAH, B KOPME
OTBEPCTUE. KOPBET TOHET U YHOCUT B TEMHbIE OMYTbI BCEX
MATPOCOB, KPOME PE3HUKA. MOPE BbIHOCUT CTUBA HA OCTPOB.

CO3HAHUE BEPHY/\OCb K CTUBY. TYT KAK PA3 U TYMAH BETPOM
YHECEH. O3UPAET CTUB OKPECTHOCTU, CMOTPUT B PA3HbIE CTOPOHbI.
BOT-TE HA - HA OCTPOBE OCHOBAHA CTABKA KOPCAPOB, HA TOM
CAMOM MbICY! U KATEP CTOUT, U OXPAHA C ABTOMATAMU.
"BOT OHO KAK!" - PA3OM CMEKAET KYPCAHT. - "BOT KTO
CTABUT Y OCTPOBA MUHbI!"

KTO-TO U3 KOPCAPOB, 3AMETUB CTUBA, OPET U YKA3bIBAET B
TY CTOPOHY.
HA KOPME KATEPA, CMAXHYB BOPOX OKYPKOB, BCTAET BO BECb
POCT CAM ATAMAH KOPCAPOB - YCbI B CTOPOHbI, ABTOMAT HA PEMHE.
HO KYPCAHT HE TPYC! CKUHYB KYPTKY U HOCKU, BbIXBATUB
KOPTUK, CTUB C KPUKOM: "YPA-A-A!" PBAHY/\ B ATAKY. BOH3AET
B KOPCAPA KOPTUK - TOT MEPTB. 3ATEM KO BTOPOMY, K TPETbEMY...
B3MAX TECAKOM OTCEKAET PA3OM YXO, HOC, A TO U PYKY.

HO KOPCAPOB COTHU! CBET, KPUKU, CBUCT, TPECK ABTOMATOB.
TPOE MATPOCOB POCTOM 2 METPA - XBATb CTUBA 3A PYKU, HE
BbIPBATb. BCE, KPAHTbI.

ATAMAH 3BEPEET:
- KA3HUTb CYKUHA CbIHA! CMEPTb EMY! BUCETb EMY HA OCUHE! HET OCUH HA OCTPOBE? HY, TAK 3ACYHYTb EMU XEP B TUCKU! HET
TUCKOB?! KAKTYC EMY B CPAKY! KAK, U KAKTYCOB HET??!!! HY
XOTb KAMHU ECTb? KAMEHb EMY - U B MOPE!

ATAMAH U TPOE MATPOCOB HECYT CTUBA B KATEP. ATAMAH
CTAPTYET. HO TYT - OT/\UB! KATEP CHOCUT HA KAMHU. 3A3OP
Y3OK, TAM - CMEPTb! BOT-BOT PACKPOMCAET KATEP HA KYCKU,
COPBET KOPMY, PA3OTPET KOCTU B MYKY. ATAMAH 3AMEP, KOPCAPbI
CTOHYT B CTPAXE. CTUB XBATAET PY/\b. MOTOP PEBET, KAK
3BEPb. HO AC-KYPCAHT YBEPEH B CBOEM MACTEPCTBE. KATEP
PbICKAET HOCOM B CTOPOHbI, HO CTUB CHOBA BbIPABHUBAET KYPC.
YTECbI B CTA METPAX, B COPOKA, B BOCbMU, B TPEX, B METPE!
BOT B CTBOPE HOC, A BOT U KOPMA! KATEP BbIHOCUT B
OTKPbITOE MOPE.

ATAMAH XBATAET CTUBA 3A PYKY:
- TbI U CAM U3 TAKUX, KAK MbI! CTPACTb - A3APT, PUCK, KAK
B KAPTAX. CTABb BCE HA KAPTY! HE MECTO TAKOMY B BMC. KAK
3BATb-TO?
- HY, CTUB...
- OCTABb COMHEHUE, CTUB! TbI - KOPCAP. KPACOTKU HA HAC
BUCHYT, MOHETAMU COPUM, BUCKU U POM PEKAMU TEKYT, CXBATKU
U ATAKU. BE3YXA! BEPHUTE EMY TECAK. KAKOB TBOU OTBET, CTUB?"


- BbI 3HAETE MOU OTBET, - CKA3A/\ CTAPUK-ATAMAH.


IV (PARADOKS)

OCTPOBA B OKEAHE (COH BETEPAHA-AHAXOPETA)

B CUHEM TUXOM OKEAHE
ECTb TAKUE OCTPOBA,
TAM OTMEHHO, KAK B HUPBAHE,
TAM CTPEKO3bI U TPABA.

HET HU CTPAH, HU KOHTUHEHTOB,
HU BOEHHbIX, HU OKOB ...
U TOMUT OT CAHTUMEHTOB -
HET HABO3A, HET KOPOB.

ECTb 3AKATbI U PACCBETbI,
ECTb PAKUTbI Y TPABbI.
U OTKPbITbIE KAPETbI
TAM C KPACOTKAMU (YBbI !)

MAKU, KAKTYCbI U PO3bI
TAM PACTYT BO BECb CE3OH,
HE3HAKOMbI TAM MOPO3bI,
HO HAKATAMU - O3OH.

PE3BbI KOHU TAM, KAK PbICU,
U KAK KOHb, CKPOMHA TAM PbICb.
A KAKUE ECTb TAM BbICU -
CTbIHET KPOBb - TAK PEET BbICb !

U BECb B MAPEBE BECEHHEM,
C/\OBHO B CKA3KE, KAK BO CHE,
BCTPETUT BAC C.A.ECEHUH
TAM HA PO3OBOM KOHE !


V (PARADOKS)

KOHU (PETPO-POMAHC)

OX BbI KOHU, MOU KOHU,
KOHU - BUXPU-CKAKYHbI,
TO HE BETEP UBY K/\OHUT,
3BOH TETUBbI, KAK CTPYHbI !

CTPYU 3O/\OTA HA BbIE,
3OPOK B3OP, OTMEHHA CTATb,
OX BbI, KOHU CTPOEBbIE,
BAM KPACbI HE 3AHUMATb.

BOPOHbIE, OX, /\UXUE,
KAK BEPHbI BAM BECTOBbIE !

CBUCTHET BETEP - POKOBbIE
KOHU B3MOKHYT 3A BEPCTY ...

A HA HEBCKOM, HA MOCTY
CTPEMEHYTb BAC HA /\ETY
PYKU B3METEHbI CTA/\bHbIE ...

(конкурс полностью)


ТУР 2 - TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI!

Рассказы (и стихи) об азартных играх

I (BOEHKOM)

CEKPET CTAPYXU.

3E/\EHOE CYKHO, BECb MUP B A3APTE!
OH B CTOPOHE CTOUT B KOTOPbIU PA3.
HO BOT, HA TPOUKE, HA 3ABETHOU KAPTE
KOTE/\ CPbIBAET -- BECb, KAK HA 3AKA3!

OH CHOBA CTABUT -- HA CEMEPKY KPECTU,
KAK OCTP MOMEHT! B MUHYTY 3A/\ 3ATUX.
CEMEPKA ECTb! U MACTb, U KAPTA -- BMECTE!
YPA! U TOCT -- 3A CME/\bIX U /\UXUX!

KAK, CHOBA CTABUTb? HET, OCTbIHb OT CTPACTU!
OCTAHOBUCb, HE CTOUT PUCKOBATb!
KOBAPEH POK, XUTPbI KAK 3BEPU MACTU!
BHOBb 3AMAHUB -- COBPYT, HE MUHOBATb!

HET, TY3 B PYKE. HY, BbIBO3U, BE3YXA!
U BOT OH, BOT! HO KAPTA... KAK? HE TA?!
C KAPTUHKU CMOTPUT MEP3OCTHO CTAPYXA
U CMEPTb CAMA KPUBUT EE YCTA.


II (PARADOX)

CTUXOTBOPHbIE MOTUBbI HA MY3bIKY
HECPABHEHHbIX TEKCTOB KYMUPA POCCUU
--------------------------------------


BUCTYEM. BO PTY CTAHET CYXO -
HAPYMOB BUHA HAM HECET.
K PACCBETY PACCKA3 O CTAPYXE
HAKPYTUT HAM BHYK EE, MOT.

U BOT OTKPOBEHUE CTAPTA,
POMAHTUK BHE PAMOK U Y3.
TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI -
TPOUKA, CEMEPKA U TY3 !

OH CTAHET KPYTbIM U KOBAPHbIM,
CTUXAMU B KOHBEPTE CPA3UT ...
CMYTUB /\U3ABETY UBAHOBHY,
CTAPYXE HAHOCUT BU3UT.

HU 3BYKA. 3AMPET U BOCKPECHET,
PUCKOBOMY POKY OTKPbIT,
CTAPYXY B BO/\bTEPOBbIX KPEC/\AX
CMEPTE/\bHbIM KYPKOM YKPOTUT.

U CHOBA B PACCBETHOM TYMAHE
HEBUHHA, KAK BEPA C BbICOT,
EMY /\U3ABETA UBAHHA
OTKPOET 3ACOBbI BOPOT ...

HET, OH HE 3HAMEHUE CMEPTU,
3BEHUTE, CTAKAHbI BUHA !
"O, BEPbTE MHE, BEPbTE MHE, BEPbTE !...
HO KTO TAM CTOUT Y OKHA ?"

CBETAET, HO CTPACTU OTPABA
BECb COH OTMETAET HA HET.
CTAPYXA, OTPUHYB CBOU CABAH,
TPEX KAPT PACKPbIBAET CEKPET.

HA3ABTPA, B KOPOHE 3AKATA,
KOH COPBAH - MOTAUTE HA YC !
TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI -
TPOUKA, CEMEPKA U TY3 !

U HETY EMY YKOPU3HbI,
XOTb CTYKA B BUCKAX HE CHECTU,
HO PAHO OTMEPUBATb TPU3HY -
CTAPYXA XUTPA OTOMCTUTb.

HY, BOT OHU, CKOPO, KAPATbI -
YTPOEHbI CTABKU Y HAC.
TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI -
TPOUKA, CEMEPKA ...
ATAC !


III (PARADOX)

T P U C E C T P bI

              
                                       PYCCKUM BCEX CTPAH ...
C HEUCTOBbIM BETPOM A3APTA
BO BCE KOHTUHEHTbI BOPBYCb.
TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI -
U3PAU/\b, AMEPUKA, PYCb !

O, HETPUBUA/\bHOE TPUO !
O, TPU CBOEHPABHbIX CECTPbI !
OT BEKA BbI BMECTE HE3PUMO
CKBO3b MYKU, KPECTbI U KOCTPbI.

KPOBABbIM TEPPOPOM U3PAHEH,
HO CMEX, A HE CTPAX - TBOU YCTAB,
TbI - HOMEP HA KAPTE, U3PAU/\b,
TbI - CUMBO/\ Y BCEX HA YCTAX !

YMOM HE CXBATUTb, HE U3MEPUTb
POCCUU OCHOB KOPEHHbIX.
U BEPUTb B HEE, TO/\bKO BEPUTb -
U HET BAPUAHTOB UHbIX !

YCTAB OT 3AMOPCKUX AMEPUK,
YKOPOM KO BCEM BPEMEHAM
BEPHYCb, XOTb HUKTO U HE BEPUT,
K MOCKOBCKUM MOUM TEPEMAM.

U MAUCKUM BECEHHUM PACKATAM
CTO3BOHHbIM CTUXOM OT3OBYCb.
TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI, TPU KAPTbI -
CBET CTAPbIU, CBET HOBbIU U PYCb !

(конкурс полностью)




HA3AD B CTO/\OBKY